Authors Note: This creative story was written to show improvement in sentence fluency.
One day in a cold house there was a puppy alone for two hours. A gust of wind blew open the door and the puppy ran out. Without thinking, the puppy went the wrong way when he thought he was going home. Then the puppy got to a house that looked like his home, but it wasn't his home. Next, the puppy's owners realized that he was gone.
The next day the puppy ran away from this house and tried to run back in the direction he came. He ran the wrong way again! Eventually, the owners sent out a search party for there cute little puppy, but the search party did not find the dog. When the search party was about to give up they found the puppy just outside of the neighbor hood.
Since the puppy was home his owners were very happy. During the night the house was broken into and the puppy was kidnapped. Five hours after it happened, none of the puppy's owners knew he was missing. With the family so sad and angry, they called the police to tell them as much as they could.
Searching everywhere, the police chief and his men did as much as they could to track down the thief. Sadly, nothing worked. As soon as they were going to give up, they saw the puppy they were looking for. However, the puppy got hurt. After he was fully healed, the owners of this dog were happy to see him. Finally, the puppy saw his owners. He ran towards them and they were both very excited to see eachother.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Ms. Carvers point of view
Author's Note: This piece is a part of a book called the The Great Shark Mystery. I have re-written the scene in Ms. Carvers point of view.
I gathered some of my workers to an important meeting.
I started off by saying "We need more people to come to our park so we can fix the tanks and do not go out of business or sell the park. Any ideas?"
Mr.Wilson says "How about we hand out fliers about the animals in the park?"
I said "No because we already have it on every newspaper all over the world."
Next one of the workers told everyone there "How about a ride about the great white shark."
"No." I told him.
"But it is a great idea." One of the workers said.
Then the boxcar children sat down outside of my office.
Finally I yelled "The one answer to afford the ride is to get more money some how."
"Sorry I yelled I just don't want to hear any ideas that we can't afford." I said.
Then I left my office and saw the kids were there sitting outside my office.
"Did you hear anything?" I said.
"Yes." The boxcar children told Ms. Carver.
"How rude. They ease dropped on a important meeting. That's nosey." I thought.
I gathered some of my workers to an important meeting.
I started off by saying "We need more people to come to our park so we can fix the tanks and do not go out of business or sell the park. Any ideas?"
Mr.Wilson says "How about we hand out fliers about the animals in the park?"
I said "No because we already have it on every newspaper all over the world."
Next one of the workers told everyone there "How about a ride about the great white shark."
"No." I told him.
"But it is a great idea." One of the workers said.
Then the boxcar children sat down outside of my office.
Finally I yelled "The one answer to afford the ride is to get more money some how."
"Sorry I yelled I just don't want to hear any ideas that we can't afford." I said.
Then I left my office and saw the kids were there sitting outside my office.
"Did you hear anything?" I said.
"Yes." The boxcar children told Ms. Carver.
"How rude. They ease dropped on a important meeting. That's nosey." I thought.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Creative piece
Once upon a time there was a princess named Brady and his prince was named Ben. They are so far away from each other they both tried to go see each other, but the dragon kept on spotting the princess every time. That might change this one month in fairy tale land.
Now the prince is thinking should I go try to enter the castle and save the princess, or should I just send knights? This must be thought through. Tomorrow the prince came up with an idea. At 3:50 pm he will send 16 knights to the castle. Next the knights will attack the dragon and save the princess. The prince must think which knight to send, because some of his knights are traders.
The next day Ben told his knights "You must slay the dragon, rescue the princess, and bring her back here so we can get married. If you do not you all will die. Now go." Then 16 knights were off the first one got to the castle but then in a wide hallway the dragon burned the knight.
Next the second knight got past the wide hallway, but all of the other knights got killed before even entering the castle. Finally he went up the stairs the dragon started to shoot fire at him but luckily the knight dodged the fire, and got to the princess room, then rescued the princess. Suddenly the 2nd knight went to his kingdom. The princess was saved but the second knight was a traitor. Now the prince will have to go to knight island to rescue the princess.
First the prince got into his in his boat and is on his way. Next the prince arrived and got put in jail right next to the princess. Then the prince got a plan he could just take the keys from the guard. Finally the guard came close enough and the prince took the keys. Now the prince and the princess went back to the prince's home. Suddenly the princess was taken back to the castle by the dragon.
"Now what." The prince thought. 3 hours later the prince tried to save the princess but the prince got burned up. Then the most magical thing happened. The real prince was the dragon. The burned one was a fake. Then the prince and the princess sealed there love with a kiss and they lived happily aver after.
Now the prince is thinking should I go try to enter the castle and save the princess, or should I just send knights? This must be thought through. Tomorrow the prince came up with an idea. At 3:50 pm he will send 16 knights to the castle. Next the knights will attack the dragon and save the princess. The prince must think which knight to send, because some of his knights are traders.
The next day Ben told his knights "You must slay the dragon, rescue the princess, and bring her back here so we can get married. If you do not you all will die. Now go." Then 16 knights were off the first one got to the castle but then in a wide hallway the dragon burned the knight.
Next the second knight got past the wide hallway, but all of the other knights got killed before even entering the castle. Finally he went up the stairs the dragon started to shoot fire at him but luckily the knight dodged the fire, and got to the princess room, then rescued the princess. Suddenly the 2nd knight went to his kingdom. The princess was saved but the second knight was a traitor. Now the prince will have to go to knight island to rescue the princess.
First the prince got into his in his boat and is on his way. Next the prince arrived and got put in jail right next to the princess. Then the prince got a plan he could just take the keys from the guard. Finally the guard came close enough and the prince took the keys. Now the prince and the princess went back to the prince's home. Suddenly the princess was taken back to the castle by the dragon.
"Now what." The prince thought. 3 hours later the prince tried to save the princess but the prince got burned up. Then the most magical thing happened. The real prince was the dragon. The burned one was a fake. Then the prince and the princess sealed there love with a kiss and they lived happily aver after.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
the boxcar children
How would you feel if you had an impression? In the book The Boxcar Children - The Great Shark Mystery, by Gertrude Chandler Warner, a shark is brought to Ocean Adventure Park because he had gotten stuck in a net and needed to recover. The park is deciding whether they should keep the shark. This story told by the narrator is written in third person for point of view.; however, we interpret the story through the Boxcar Children.
Through the Boxcar children, the reader gets the impression of being frustrated by the desire to save the shark but not sure how. The other reason to getting frustrated is overhearing a conversation. Another impression you would get is determined by saving the shark before it dies and get help from Emily and Mac.
Also make Ms. Carver has something to hide, because of the secret meeting with Mr. Wilson, and she first wanted to keep the shark. Then wanted to kill the shark.
If the story was told through Ms. Carver's point of view, it would show that she is a good person and had a meeting with Mr Wilson to make it look like she was saving the shark and the park. Would also cut peoples salary so she can do repairs around the park. Have her workers work harder. She would make the kids look like they are nosey by making them listen to the conversation.
Since it is written in third person that's why I interpreted the Boxcar children view and Ms. Carver's view. The reason is that they would both value sharks. They would both write it to make the good guy. They both have a ton of interesting stuff in both of there point of view. That's why I choose those two for point of view.
Through the Boxcar children, the reader gets the impression of being frustrated by the desire to save the shark but not sure how. The other reason to getting frustrated is overhearing a conversation. Another impression you would get is determined by saving the shark before it dies and get help from Emily and Mac.
Also make Ms. Carver has something to hide, because of the secret meeting with Mr. Wilson, and she first wanted to keep the shark. Then wanted to kill the shark.
If the story was told through Ms. Carver's point of view, it would show that she is a good person and had a meeting with Mr Wilson to make it look like she was saving the shark and the park. Would also cut peoples salary so she can do repairs around the park. Have her workers work harder. She would make the kids look like they are nosey by making them listen to the conversation.
Since it is written in third person that's why I interpreted the Boxcar children view and Ms. Carver's view. The reason is that they would both value sharks. They would both write it to make the good guy. They both have a ton of interesting stuff in both of there point of view. That's why I choose those two for point of view.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Notes for Point of view
-Nickie point of view of the house
- It is a nice house when got there
- wants to keep it
- Wants it to be her home
- At the end she wanted to leave this house forever. Then one chapter later Nickie point of view changed back to wants to keep it.
-Crystal point of view
- Ugly house when got there
- Does not want to live there
-wants to sell the house
-At the very end she wants to keep the house forever. So she can have a place for her love live
-Maid's point of view on the house
- wants to keep the house because it is there home.
- great home to live in
- Does not want it to be sold
-Grover's point of view on snake
- cool
-good
- Should keep them as pets. Only should be released into the wild in the summer
-
- rest of the town point of view on snakes
- evil
- should be released into the wild
-
Nickie point of view on dogs
-good
-cute
-hard to give up
Ms. Benson point of view on dogs
-evil
-not cute
-hard to give up
- It is a nice house when got there
- wants to keep it
- Wants it to be her home
- At the end she wanted to leave this house forever. Then one chapter later Nickie point of view changed back to wants to keep it.
-Crystal point of view
- Ugly house when got there
- Does not want to live there
-wants to sell the house
-At the very end she wants to keep the house forever. So she can have a place for her love live
-Maid's point of view on the house
- wants to keep the house because it is there home.
- great home to live in
- Does not want it to be sold
-Grover's point of view on snake
- cool
-good
- Should keep them as pets. Only should be released into the wild in the summer
-
- rest of the town point of view on snakes
- evil
- should be released into the wild
-
Nickie point of view on dogs
-good
-cute
-hard to give up
Ms. Benson point of view on dogs
-evil
-not cute
-hard to give up
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Ben has a pet
Brady is happy being a pet, but the rest of team galactic is after Brady now because they wanted to pushiness Brady for giving up evil. So will Ben protect Brady or will Ben let them take Brady. Nobody knows not even team galactic.
Now it has been 6 days ever since Ben had took Brady for a pet, and Brady enjoys Ben's brand new house even the robot maid. That plays with him 3 hours a day 6 days a week. On the maids day off Ben plays with Brady for 4 hours straight. Brady is much more happy and in better health, but just then Brady had a flash back of the day he became evil.
"Brady if you ever become good your head must be cut off. Do you understand." Team galactic leader whispered.
"Meow." Brady said.
Now Brady realized that he was in danger. He wanted to tell Ben some how, but he couldn't because it is time for his 4:00pm play time. At night Ben hears someone break in and Ben went straight to Brady's room to check on him and Brady was fine. Then when Ben went back to his room he had to fight those guys, and at the end of the fight Ben defeated all of those bad guys and made them all run away for a while. Finally it hit Ben that was team galactic trying to get Brady back for a reason.
Now it has been 6 days ever since Ben had took Brady for a pet, and Brady enjoys Ben's brand new house even the robot maid. That plays with him 3 hours a day 6 days a week. On the maids day off Ben plays with Brady for 4 hours straight. Brady is much more happy and in better health, but just then Brady had a flash back of the day he became evil.
"Brady if you ever become good your head must be cut off. Do you understand." Team galactic leader whispered.
"Meow." Brady said.
Now Brady realized that he was in danger. He wanted to tell Ben some how, but he couldn't because it is time for his 4:00pm play time. At night Ben hears someone break in and Ben went straight to Brady's room to check on him and Brady was fine. Then when Ben went back to his room he had to fight those guys, and at the end of the fight Ben defeated all of those bad guys and made them all run away for a while. Finally it hit Ben that was team galactic trying to get Brady back for a reason.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Catching the thief
In the year of 2065, someone or something started a fire, may destroy a dam, stole one billion dollars in gold, and a lot more stuff. That person or animal never gets caught yet doing this bad stuff, but all of that might change this year. Ben must catch the thief soon before the thief moves out of the U.S.A and does a ton of stuff in another continent.
On January 6th, Ben saw a shadow. So Ben went racing the mysterious shadow. The shadow slips away very easily. Then it hit Ben that shadow was the thief. So now Ben is always looking for the thief day and night. That night Ben heard something in his house and found that his $800 couch was stolen and thrown out the window then broke into little pieces.
Now Ben is very mad at the thief because his $800 couch was broken and the window was broken. Now the mysterious thief is still on the loose all over the U.S.A. At least Ben got a look at the thief through his security cameras and realized it was Brady the cat from Team Galactic. That explains why he steals and breaks things. Finally Ben takes the footage to the police.
The next day Brady started Ben's house on fire without thinking that Ben might of already turned in the tapes to the cops. Now Ben is homeless. So Brady isn't out of getting in trouble yet because Ben's neighbors have Brady on fire, but it will not matter soon because Brady only has 3 things left to do before he moves out of U.S.A.
Oh no, on February 9th, gold was stolen it showed on the tape that it is Brady that used dynamite to blow up the gold bank went in then stole $999,999,300 of gold each trip he did in one night. Like usual Brady makes a clean get away with only one hint Brady accidentally dropped it was his plan on how to blow up a dam by using dynamite next month on the 6th. So the police just have to be there first to prevent it from happening.
What they did not know is that it was a decoy plan. Brady will really destroy the most popular dam on March 9th. Brady dropped it so they would be there on the correct month but the wrong time. So the people are spending a ton of money to have a high tech security system on the dam so they now when to drop. Then Brady realized that he was going to place the dynamite in the dam on the 6th so now Brady has to steal $700 more so everything is going to go a day early. To place the dynamite in.
Now on February 14th, Brady decides to not steal the $700 today but he will do it next week because it is valentines day. So right now he will just go to the city to see on how he will steal from the gold bank again and make another clean get away. Next at 11:45pm Brady sees a alley and a secret switch on where the gold is stored and another one for a good get away spot too. Now Brady knows how to steal the gold and get a good get away.
It is February 21st, and in exactly 3 hours 8 minutes and 31 seconds Brady will steal the $700 gold he found in a secret room. Then head into that secret path he found to get away. What Brady did not know is that the police ordered to put security cameras in every single gold spot all over the U.S.A. for safety reasons. Also the other reason that the cameras are there is the most stealth thief.
No more gold was stolen last night when the alley was empty. Now the police are looking for thief's 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Brady is almost ready to move out the U.S.A, but the police finally got Brady on camera. So they just have to stop Brady from blowing up the dam or Ben town and Brady town will get flooded.
On March 1st, the police found out that on February 29th the thief bought 9lb of dynamite. What they also found out was that Brady was going to put the dynamite on March 5th. So now Brady will get caught unless the police arrive to late on that day. Now it is just up to time that will determine Brady's future. Will Brady ever be good
The next day Brady burned down a neighborhood with only one match. Now the police stepped up there game by offering a reward for who ever catches the thief. The rewards are a flat screen TV, a $100 Walmart gift card, a free home. The free home is only a reward for 24 hours from now. That means that on March 3rd, at 7:00 pm this reward is off. It will be replaced with a $700 in target gift card.
The police did not think that Brady would see the reward sign, but Brady did not see them yet, and the police new that if Brady sees them Brady will move out of the U.S.A before blowing up the dam. Next the most shocking thing happened Brady wants to be good so he won't be turned in by any person that lives. On March 3rd, at 7:00 am Ben spots Brady at a dam not doing a thing. So Ben goes up to him.
Ben asks Brady " Why are you not doing a thing."
Brady responded "I do not want to be bad any more because I just realized I was hurting people."
"Okay now at least I now why you are up here. I can help be good." Ben said to Brady.
The first step is to give back every thing you stole Brady.
"There is just one small problem. All the gold was spent on the dynamite." Brady told Ben
"What. Well there is one way to fix that. The one way to fix it is community service." Ben told Brady.
"Okay I will do it to be a good guy." Brady said back to Ben.
On March 12th Brady was cleaning up a dirty area in the ocean. Brady kept on cleaning until all the litter was gone.Next the police caught Brady then Brady told them what he just did to help, and the police kept on laughing. Until Ben came and said it is true Brady wants to be good I know because we talked a 10 days ago.
Police man chief said "Okay I believe you, but if Brady does one more bad thing. Brady will get arrested and you will get charged with a $70,000 fine Ben."
"Okay." Ben told police man chief. Now that Brady is in the clear Brady decides he should still leave, but how will he tell Ben. The next day Brady tries to tell Ben but Ben said something very important.
Ben told Brady "I can keep you as a pet and you will be in good health." Brady was touched. Now what is in store for Brady now read the next creative story to find.The next creative story is called Ben has a pet.
On January 6th, Ben saw a shadow. So Ben went racing the mysterious shadow. The shadow slips away very easily. Then it hit Ben that shadow was the thief. So now Ben is always looking for the thief day and night. That night Ben heard something in his house and found that his $800 couch was stolen and thrown out the window then broke into little pieces.
Now Ben is very mad at the thief because his $800 couch was broken and the window was broken. Now the mysterious thief is still on the loose all over the U.S.A. At least Ben got a look at the thief through his security cameras and realized it was Brady the cat from Team Galactic. That explains why he steals and breaks things. Finally Ben takes the footage to the police.
The next day Brady started Ben's house on fire without thinking that Ben might of already turned in the tapes to the cops. Now Ben is homeless. So Brady isn't out of getting in trouble yet because Ben's neighbors have Brady on fire, but it will not matter soon because Brady only has 3 things left to do before he moves out of U.S.A.
Oh no, on February 9th, gold was stolen it showed on the tape that it is Brady that used dynamite to blow up the gold bank went in then stole $999,999,300 of gold each trip he did in one night. Like usual Brady makes a clean get away with only one hint Brady accidentally dropped it was his plan on how to blow up a dam by using dynamite next month on the 6th. So the police just have to be there first to prevent it from happening.
What they did not know is that it was a decoy plan. Brady will really destroy the most popular dam on March 9th. Brady dropped it so they would be there on the correct month but the wrong time. So the people are spending a ton of money to have a high tech security system on the dam so they now when to drop. Then Brady realized that he was going to place the dynamite in the dam on the 6th so now Brady has to steal $700 more so everything is going to go a day early. To place the dynamite in.
Now on February 14th, Brady decides to not steal the $700 today but he will do it next week because it is valentines day. So right now he will just go to the city to see on how he will steal from the gold bank again and make another clean get away. Next at 11:45pm Brady sees a alley and a secret switch on where the gold is stored and another one for a good get away spot too. Now Brady knows how to steal the gold and get a good get away.
It is February 21st, and in exactly 3 hours 8 minutes and 31 seconds Brady will steal the $700 gold he found in a secret room. Then head into that secret path he found to get away. What Brady did not know is that the police ordered to put security cameras in every single gold spot all over the U.S.A. for safety reasons. Also the other reason that the cameras are there is the most stealth thief.
No more gold was stolen last night when the alley was empty. Now the police are looking for thief's 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Brady is almost ready to move out the U.S.A, but the police finally got Brady on camera. So they just have to stop Brady from blowing up the dam or Ben town and Brady town will get flooded.
On March 1st, the police found out that on February 29th the thief bought 9lb of dynamite. What they also found out was that Brady was going to put the dynamite on March 5th. So now Brady will get caught unless the police arrive to late on that day. Now it is just up to time that will determine Brady's future. Will Brady ever be good
The next day Brady burned down a neighborhood with only one match. Now the police stepped up there game by offering a reward for who ever catches the thief. The rewards are a flat screen TV, a $100 Walmart gift card, a free home. The free home is only a reward for 24 hours from now. That means that on March 3rd, at 7:00 pm this reward is off. It will be replaced with a $700 in target gift card.
The police did not think that Brady would see the reward sign, but Brady did not see them yet, and the police new that if Brady sees them Brady will move out of the U.S.A before blowing up the dam. Next the most shocking thing happened Brady wants to be good so he won't be turned in by any person that lives. On March 3rd, at 7:00 am Ben spots Brady at a dam not doing a thing. So Ben goes up to him.
Ben asks Brady " Why are you not doing a thing."
Brady responded "I do not want to be bad any more because I just realized I was hurting people."
"Okay now at least I now why you are up here. I can help be good." Ben said to Brady.
The first step is to give back every thing you stole Brady.
"There is just one small problem. All the gold was spent on the dynamite." Brady told Ben
"What. Well there is one way to fix that. The one way to fix it is community service." Ben told Brady.
"Okay I will do it to be a good guy." Brady said back to Ben.
On March 12th Brady was cleaning up a dirty area in the ocean. Brady kept on cleaning until all the litter was gone.Next the police caught Brady then Brady told them what he just did to help, and the police kept on laughing. Until Ben came and said it is true Brady wants to be good I know because we talked a 10 days ago.
Police man chief said "Okay I believe you, but if Brady does one more bad thing. Brady will get arrested and you will get charged with a $70,000 fine Ben."
"Okay." Ben told police man chief. Now that Brady is in the clear Brady decides he should still leave, but how will he tell Ben. The next day Brady tries to tell Ben but Ben said something very important.
Ben told Brady "I can keep you as a pet and you will be in good health." Brady was touched. Now what is in store for Brady now read the next creative story to find.The next creative story is called Ben has a pet.
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